Time Goes By So Slowly

Those are the words of Madonna, so I figured they are basically as good as Gospel. This is also the mantra of anyone at a job that they hate. Hate is such a strong word. Dislike. Truthfully, though, sometimes that feeling is hate. It is the hate that comes from feeling like you aren't getting what you deserve--which is also what Madonna's song is about too!

Today I had a thought about growing up. Obviously it was very profound, but even though you may be in shock I will share it with you anyway: IT SUCKS.
Well, it doesn't completely suck. I am marrying the most wonderful soulmate a person could ask for and getting to learn my lessons with him by my side. We love each other unconditionally and that is pretty much 4 million times better than any day sitting at a desk with fluorescent lighting. I haven't spent a lot of time talking about him because the feelings I feel are very inherent for me...they just are. It's like talking about the fact that I am a female, or something. It just sometimes needs to be pointed out that what is making life worth living is learning to figure out things with the person I love the most.

Romanticism aside, I know that I am having the 20-something's dilemma of idealism. I want to change everything, and I want to refuse to settle. All of the anger that comes with having this goal unrealized comes bubbling out of my mouth, and of my eyeballs sometimes when I can't control it. I know that I need to realize my potential and power, and to grow beyond what I see as my own limitations. What winds up happening is usually a whole bunch of nothing, and I know that that has to change. Sometimes I go back and read my own Blog to cheer myself up. I need to keep reminding myself of the same things.

Going back to Elizabeth Gilbert, the writer of "Eat, Pray, Love" that I cite occasionally,
she explained in the beginning of her work that she saved herself from getting incredibly upset by writing to herself on a piece of paper. "It's okay, I am here," she wrote. She reassured herself that there are always two sides. There is the everything sucks and is hard and difficult side, and there is the I CAN DO THIS I KNOW I CAN side.
Me?

Today I am both :)